Oh….Margaret, your name didn’t show up on the caller ID; are calling from a different number? Uh, okay. Look. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you the last few times you called. What’s been going on? Oh, well that’s good. I remember you saying you’d wanted to start doing a little more hiking. Yeah, [...]
Archive for February, 2009
Are you there God? Its me Margaret
February 28, 2009
Marlon, James, Marilyn, Dave & Buster
February 24, 2009
Gosh, girls take so long to get ready. That’s the darn truth! (pleasant laughter) … Was that you? What? Was that you? Did you just fart? What are you talking about? I just smell a really bad fart and I don’t think it is mine. What do you mean, you think? How do you not [...]
Bacon, Kevin
February 23, 2009
No one likes kevin bacon but no one ever says they don’t like kevin bacon because everyone thinks that everyone else likes kevin bacon. But no one likes kevin bacon.
dave
February 20, 2009
david: I don’t know, ma, I’m real nervous about this. This is GOLIATH. The real life Goliath. I don’t even know if he’s just a big guy or like a monster or something. why is it even freaking important? momma david: you have to go. It is your destiny. But I don’t know why it [...]
February 20, 2009
when your mom asks you if its safe to walk around in LA late at night, don’t tell her that the gangs wear bright bandannas so it’s easy to spot ‘em
February 19, 2009
it’s time consuming because any time i hear any phrase that is contained in any sarah mclaughlin song, i have to sing the whole song from start to finish or else i can’t go on with what i was doing before i heard the phrase that was contained in the sarah mclaughlin song
February 16, 2009
When I get tired of being a plastic surgeon, I’m going to wait ’til a bitchy woman comes in to get a nose job, then give her it, but instead of making her nose little and straight, I’m going to make it humongous. Then, when she takes off those bandages in six weeks, she’s going [...]
February 13, 2009
There are ten commandments for Christians. You have to capitalize the C in Christian or else Christians will get mad. The commandments are mostly about being an okay person and not killing anyone and not fucking your neighbor’s wife. But this week the preacher was just talking about the first one. The preacher knew the [...]
