There are ten commandments for Christians. You have to capitalize the C in Christian or else Christians will get mad. The commandments are mostly about being an okay person and not killing anyone and not fucking your neighbor’s wife. But this week the preacher was just talking about the first one. The preacher knew the ten commandments by heart, but he had never read the bible, the book about magic that Christians believe is true. Muslims think that a different magical book is true and Jews think a magical scroll is true. Buddhists think that a statue of a chubby guy is pretty nice. One time the preacher did watch a movie about an important Christian named Moses but it was really about Charlton Heston and Moses was Jewish anyway. Moses was the guy that got the commandments from god in the first place.