Mister Understood

no posts for a while… just gettin’ regular ol’ married

I work with a guy named Hector, so I say stuff like “What the hector do you think you’re doin!,” and, “Where the hector did you put the mashed puhtaytuhs?” But I probably would’ve thought up that joke sooner if his name was Fucter.

I wrote a prequel to Last of the Mohicans–First of the Mohicans. It’s just one guy, really bored.

Repackage “Dancing with the Stars,” by putting it on VH1 and calling it, “Hey! Where’d my Dignity Go?”

I apologize to my dozen of readers for not having posted lately. I’ve been terribly busy fighting dragons and eating store-brand chocolate chips. Look for a new short story soon. For now: It’s too bad, because it seems like all the good guys get shot dead. For example, Jack Kennedy was shot just like his [...]

I’m not the Michael Jordan of anything, but I’m the Michael Jordan of Baseball of a lot of stuff

i’m just here dreamin up some fly beats in the studio apartment

Air Bud the fish looked out of his bowl almost all day, every day. He pretty much had to, since he was the only fish in the bowl and the only other stuff in there were some fake plastic seaweeds and some fake plastic car tires. Plus, the bowl, like many fish bowls, was clear. [...]

Generally, when I almost say “What up party people?!!,” I try to say instead, “Oh, hey guys,” but no one’s perfect.