“Let’s move past our differences and strive to see each other for what we are on the inside! Creed nor race nor faith divide us, it’s the intertwining of diversity that makes our cultural friendship bracelet as strong and beautiful as it is. So let’s be colorblind. Be colorblind!” Things like these have been said [...]
Archive for August, 2009
August 27, 2009
Even if you’re poor, don’t try to stretch your Jell-O powder, or you’ll end up with just a lot of weak Kool-Aid.
August 26, 2009
I got a promotional coupon from my bank today offing $100 if I open a business checking account. This is what will transpire tomorrow when I go to open the account: Me: Hi. I would like to open a business checking account and redeem this coupon for $100. Teller: Okay. What is the name of [...]
August 24, 2009
I wrote a zombie story where the zombies realistically eat each other as well as eating non-zombie humans. It turned out short, though, because the first two zombies ate each other.
Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s in good taste…
August 6, 2009
A terrible earthquake. A massive natural disaster. Chaos everywhere. People hurt, buildings falling, buildings fallen. The ones uninjured or at least uninjured enough to help, the ones with more conscience than sense, spill toward makeshift outdoor hospitals. Some seem more like morgues. I follow, somehow having escaped the widespread destruction. I had been crossing a [...]
The most inappropriate best man toast
August 3, 2009
(the entirety of the following will be slurred, and read from note cards through squinted eyes) Hey! Everyone. Listen! Sid is my brother, and I’m not just talking about we’re both African-Americans. Seriously, though, he’s not a monk either. I’m so glad that all of you could make it. What is it? A 20 minute [...]
